When Money Becomes a Moment to Love

Valentine’s Day has a way of putting love front and center. Cards. Flowers. Intentional moments.

And yet, even during a season meant to celebrate love, money tensions don’t take a holiday.

Sometimes they linger quietly beneath the surface, or show up unexpectedly in a sharp tone, a defensive response, or a conversation that escalates faster than we intended.

If you’ve ever walked away from a money conversation thinking, '...that’s not who I want to be...', you’re not alone.

This post is for couples who care — couples who want to be patient, gentle, and loving — but don’t always show up that way when finances are involved.

Because when disagreements arise around money, our goal should not be victory.
our goal should be unity, expressed in love - or as I like to say, 'one-ness' is better than 'right-ness.'

When You Pray for Love, Expect Practice

Many of us have prayed, “Lord, help me be more loving in these conversations.”

But growth in love rarely comes from a single dramatic breakthrough. More often, you get presented with more ordinary moments to practice '...to be more loving.'

Scripture paints a beautiful picture of love, “Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”  (from 1 Corinthians 13)

Those words are inspiring on paper. They are far more stretching in the middle of a budget disagreement. Yet that’s exactly where they’re meant to be lived.

Why Money Feels So Personal

Money has a way of surfacing our differences, our fears, priorities, experiences, and assumptions.

Research suggests our financial perspectives begin forming in early childhood. That means the “money scripts” in your mind may have been playing for decades.

• Someone who grew up with scarcity may lean toward being more cautious and protective.
• Someone who grew up with abundance may feel more comfortable taking risks — or long for simplicity.
• One spouse may value saving for security, while the other may prioritize experiences and generosity.

When those differences collide, it can feel like conflict. But often, it’s simply two stories meeting. Instead of seeing those moments as proof something is broken, what if we saw them as opportunities to love more deeply?

Money itself isn’t the enemy, but it often becomes one of the loudest voices competing for our attention and security. This is why the posture we bring into these conversations matters so much.

Three Money Moments Where Love Must Lead

1. When You Value Money Differently

Different priorities don’t automatically signal a problem, they reveal perspective.

Love pauses long enough to ask questions instead of jumping to conclusions. It listens for the story behind the reaction. It seeks to understand before trying to persuade.

Curiosity creates space for grace.

2. When Money Conversations Feel Uncomfortable

Money can stir fear, pressure, past mistakes, or uncertainty. When that happens, avoidance can feel safer than engagement. But silence doesn’t resolve tension. It simply buries it.

Love creates room for honesty without accusation. It listens without interrupting.
It chooses patience over speed. Healthy communication compounds over time, just like wise financial decisions do.

3. When Roles and Income Differ

Sometimes one spouse earns more or earns all of the income. That dynamic can subtly shift the tone of financial conversations if we’re not careful.

Love resists equating income with authority. Shared stewardship reflects shared 'one-ness'. Each person brings unique perspective, wisdom, and contribution to the table. Humility builds confidence. Shared responsibility reduces confusion. When stewardship is shared, unity grows.

Progress, Not Perfection

If you’ve been praying to share and experience more love in your money conversations, don’t be surprised if God gives you more opportunities to practice it.

Growth rarely happens in one dramatic moment. It’s formed in everyday conversations, especially the ones that stretch you.

Money moments are not interruptions to your spiritual growth. They are part of it.

So the next time tension surfaces, remember:

• The goal isn’t to win.
• The goal isn’t to prove a point.
• The goal isn’t to control the outcome.

The goal is love expressed through gentleness and steady progress.

And when love leads, money becomes less of a battleground and more of a place where unity is strengthened, trust is built, and money becomes a moment to love, one conversation at a time.

Next Steps

Listen to Money Made Faithful podcast Episode #214: When Money Becomes a Moment to Love (approx. 15 minutes).

Apple: #214 - When Money Becomes a Moment to Love

Spotify: #214 - When Money Becomes a Moment to Love