How to Help When the Holidays Hurt

We see it everywhere this time of year—on cards, in commercials, woven into carols: “Joy to the world.” But what happens when joy feels out of reach?

The truth is, while the holiday season is meant to be a time of celebration, for many it becomes a time of quiet hurt. Behind the smiles and curated social posts, people are grieving losses, carrying loneliness, or facing financial pressure they’re not talking about.

If we’re not careful, we’ll miss them.

The most faithful thing we can do during the holidays may not be to rush toward the celebration—but to slow down, look around, and bring joy to someone struggling to find it.

Real Joy Is Meant to Be Shared

James 1:2–4 states “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” 

This encourages us not because hardship feels good, but because God is producing something deeper in us through it: endurance, wisdom, and spiritual maturity. That kind of steadfast joy isn’t rooted in circumstances—it’s anchored in trust. And when you’ve walked through a hard season with God’s help, you’re uniquely equipped to recognize and serve someone walking through theirs.

The holidays are full of people quietly carrying heavy loads:

• A widow watching her savings shrink.
• A single parent choosing between presents and groceries.
• A young couple juggling credit card debt.
• A small business owner praying that holiday sales cover payroll.
• An elderly neighbor who will spend Christmas alone.

You don’t have to be wealthy to help. You just have to be willing. Because often, real joy is restored through small, faithful acts of stewardship.

What Can You Do?

Here are four simple ways to prepare your heart—and your actions—for this season:

1. Pray for Open Eyes
   Start your day by asking God to show you someone who needs encouragement-not just in your inner circle, but on your path. He will.
2. Pay Attention to the Signals
   A distracted cashier. A friend who seems off. A co-worker saying “I’m fine” one too many times. Awareness deepens when we slow down enough to notice what others are trying to hide.
3. Listen with Intent
   Don’t just listen to respond—listen to understand. What’s beneath the words? Fear? Loss? Financial pressure? Our true presence with each other can open the door to deep encouragement.
4. Build Some Margin
   If we don’t have time or space, we won’t be ready to respond. Make room in your schedule and your budget for spontaneous generosity. Awareness + readiness = blessing.

When You Steward Joy, It Multiplies

Money is a tool in God’s hands—a way to reflect His heart. That gas card, meal, note, or generous tip isn’t just a transaction—it’s a message: “God sees you. You are not forgotten.” It’s the gospel, wrapped in our presence.

So here’s a small, practical challenge: Join me to set a phone reminder this season—maybe once or twice a day (mine is set for 9am each morning!) —that simply says, “Jesus, my joy comes from You.” When it goes off, do three things:

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Say thank you for the blessings in your life.
3. Ask God to show you someone who needs your encouragement.

Because joy doesn’t run out when we give it away, it grows.

This holiday season, let your faithful stewardship tell a story of joy that points back to the Giver of all good things. The world may measure joy in what’s bought or achieved. But in God’s Kingdom, the deepest joy is found in what’s noticed, shared, and surrendered with Him at the center.

So before you buy more, rush more, or plan more—look around more.

The people who need you and your joy most this season might be standing right beside you.